X: On the Road to Nowhere 143 Official Notice, Post Immediately X Dangerous Virus! First, a little history: The X window system escaped from Project Athena at MIT where it was being held in isolation. When notified, MIT stated publicly that “MIT assumes no responsibility…” This was a very disturbing statement. It then infiltrated Digital Equipment Corporation, where it has since corrupted the technical judgment of this organization. After sabotaging Digital Equipment Corporation, a sinister X Consortium was created to find a way to use X as part of a plan to dominate and control interactive window systems across the planet. X windows is sometimes distributed by this secret consortium free of charge to unsuspecting victims. The destructive cost of X cannot even be guessed. X is truly obese—whether it’s mutilating your hard disk or actively infesting your system, you can be sure it’s up to no good. Innocent users need to be protected from this dangerous virus. Even as you read this, the X source distribution and the executable environment are being maintained on hun- dreds of computers, maybe even your own. Digital Equipment Corporation is already shipping machines that carry this dreaded infestation. It must be destroyed. This is what happens when software with good intentions goes bad. It victimizes innocent users by distorting their perception of what is and what is not good software. This malignant window system must be destroyed. Ultimately, DEC and MIT must be held accountable for this heinous software crime, brought to jus- tice, and made to pay for a software cleanup. Until DEC and MIT answer to these charges, they both should be assumed to be protecting dangerous software criminals. Don’t be fooled! Just say no to X. X windows. A mistake carried out to perfection. X windows. Dissatisfaction guaranteed. X windows. Don’t get frustrated without it. X windows. Even your dog won’t like it. X windows. Flaky and built to stay that way. X windows. Complex nonsolutions to simple nonproblems. X windows. Flawed beyond belief. X windows. Form follows malfunction. X windows. Garbage at your fingertips. X win- dows. Ignorance is our most important resource. X windows. It could be worse, but it’ll take time. X windows. It could happen to you. X windows. Japan’s secret weapon. X windows. Let it get in your way. X windows. Live the nightmare. X windows. More than enough rope. X windows. Never had it, never will. X windows. No hardware is safe. X windows. Power tools for power fools. X windows. Power tools for power losers. X windows. Putting new limits on productivity. X windows. Simplicity made complex. X windows. The cutting edge of obsolescence. X windows. The art of incompetence. X windows. The defacto substandard. X windows. The first fully modular software disaster. X windows. The joke that kills. X windows. The problem for your problem. X windows. There’s got to be a better way. X windows. Warn your friends about it. X windows. You’d better sit down. X windows. You’ll envy the dead. FIGURE 2. Distributed at the X-Windows Conference

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